After We Agree to Disagree


Yes, we disagree... Sometimes people get the idea that people who encourage talk believe that any conflict can be "resolved" if people just talk about it. "Resolved" as in settled, compromised, fixed, over. No, and again, no. Sometimes there is real, genuine disagreement about core, irreducible things.

Two pieces I read this week point to two such areas. One, by Salem Web Network columnist Joseph C. Phillips, lays out his fundamental disagreement with liberal Christians about whether or not Christians ought to be trying to change anything other than individual behavior, the latter being the only legitimate Biblical mandate in his view. In his words, "spiritual redemption and political liberty are secured through individual virtue." Hence Christian initiatives against climate change, for government antipoverty programs, and the like are wrong. Here's a big difference of view based on profound differences in theology and Biblical interpretation.

The other is an E.J. Dionne column in the Washington Post arguing that the hand wringing about partisanship ignores the distinct and opposing beliefs reflected in differences about approaches to health care reform. Dionne writes, "Democrats on the whole believe in using government to correct the inequities and inefficiencies the market creates, while Republicans on the whole think market outcomes are almost always better than anything government can produce."

To acknowledge the reality of starkly contrasting views about important things is rational. But then there's the next question. What next? How do we coexist, get on with life, handle pressing problems—in the presence of deep difference?

That question is really important to talk about. Always. No matter how fundamental the divides. Because the answer really matters—on both the personal and collective level. In the manner in which we "wage disagreement," do we maintain our personal integrity? Do we act in accordance with our values? And do we maintain our collective viability and act in recognition of the fact that we are all, inescapably, co-stewards of our community and national life and that, together, we are responsible for the continued health of our democratic system?


Mary Jacksteit

Program Manager and Associate
Public Conversations Project

March 4, 2010

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Separation and freedom

John, I'm intrigued by b) in your comment: "Find separate spaces to live out those values. Separation is necessary for freedom to be exercised." At first blush, one might say that "separation" is part of the problem we face: balkanization, etc. But I'm guessing there is much more that you might have to say about this. Would you expand a bit on why you say "separation is necessary for freedom to be exercised", and say more about what you mean when you say "separate spaces"? Do you mean, a place where everyone shares your values, or just insuring that you have some place to live out your values, or....something else?

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Three things for "after disagreement"

“How to disagree without being disagreeable” is the oft-spoken phrase to answer the "What comes next?" after deep and irreconcilable difference is the outcome of an exchange. Three thoughts for what this really means come to my mind. I offer them as starting ideas of an answer to Mary’s question: a) Respect, honesty and accuracy in characterizing the contrasting values/views. This was largely absent from the health care debate where “government takeover” competed with “do nothing” epithets to try to mobilize supporters rather than acknowledge what the elements of the differences between the main positions in the debate b) Find separate spaces to live out those values. Separation is necessary for freedom to be exercised. This cannot work all the time, but trying to find the space where people can live out their values – in the home, in their religion, in their voluntary community spaces – is important c) Acknowledging the heartfelt values and seeing if on some other matter or need where some degree of cooperation and agreement is possible. As many religions claim that “blessed are the peacemakers” it is incumbent to not let a deep difference become the start of multiple, reinforcing fissures which lead to suspicion and de-humanization. prices master tea original flavor Those are my thoughts. John Stephens, UNC-Chapel Hill

Listening to understand

It's important to listen and understand, even when agreement is impossible. When we fail to do this, we soon begin to think of ourselves as superior, the first step on that long road to hell. 2 step coc/cocaine detox program for persons over 200 lbs prices

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