Knowing the “Them”

The ramifications of conflict first truly resonated with me in the winter of 2008-2009. I was sitting in a small café in a suburb of Tel Aviv, studying for the exams that would wrap up my six-month-long program in Israel. My friend suddenly turned her computer towards me, brushing aside scattered note cards and study guides, to display the breaking headlines of violence in the Gaza Strip. I immediately surveyed my surroundings, half expecting to see everyone up in arms, running around in panic. It wasn’t until later, when I walked by the Tel Aviv University campus and saw both Palestinian and Israeli protesters, that I felt how very close I was to the controversy.

From then on, I took a keener interest in conflict resolution. I enrolled in classes about international conflict in school and read Israeli, Arab, and American newspapers. Still, the more I heard about conflict, the more I wondered, quite simply, “Why can’t people just get along?” The next fall, I learned about the Public Conversations Project during a career fair at my school. I had never heard of the organization before, but it caught my attention immediately. After a couple months of corresponding with the Director of Communications & Development, I started as a communications intern at Public Conversations Project the following spring.

Working at Public Conversations, and writing about the results of effective dialogue practices in particular, altered my preconceived notions of successful conflict resolution. I previously viewed most conflicts as “us” vs. “them” scenarios. I believed that one side must concede for there to be any forward progress. I now understand that there are many other considerations in making a dialogue successful. Most conflict stems from misunderstanding, so one of the first necessary steps in the mediation process is to merely understand the concerns of other side. The Public Conversations Project, when dealing with contentious issues ranging from abortion laws to environmental practices, facilitates an atmosphere of open communication that is conducive to the exchange of ideas.

The lessons that I learned from Public Conversations have easily translated to my personal life. The old, pre-PCP Rachael, when discussing a heated controversy with a colleague, would have assumed that one side had to be right. Now, as I reflect on the methods used at the Public Conversations Project, I have learned to agree to disagree. I better understand that both parties of a debate may express valid concerns, and that there is not necessarily a black or white answer. Often times, the best we can do is to the know the “them.”

Rachael Brill
Communications Intern, Public Conversations Project

July 9, 2010

Are you interested, or do you know someone who might be interested in a fall internship at the Public Conversations Project?  Contact Susan Countryman for more information.