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A Prepositional Proposition—Dec. 10, 2009
I hate it when people talk at me. Since childhood, when a parent or other authority figure assaults me with words, sentences, paragraphs… they fail to communicate and I shut down.
When my children were young, I tried to remember that sensation and to avoid doing the same thing to them. Sometimes I fell short. Lectures, tirades…whatever you call them… if I couldn’t resist the temptation, words were said and meaning was lost.
I still remember times when, instead of talking at one of my daughters, I talked with her, or to her. Even though the Public Conversations Project wasn’t a part of my life then, I would stumble upon a question that opened us both up and made it possible for us to talk and to listen. Those exchanges were deep and true, leaving us feeling connected and peaceful. They are among my proudest memories as a parent.
I suspect that many of us resent it when we feel candidates and other political leaders are talking at us. We shut down, tune out, turn off. And isn’t this also true of political conversations among friends, relatives, and colleagues? Who wants to be harangued or belittled, made to feel small? Instead of engaging, we avoid.
So here’s my modest prepositional* proposal: don’t talk at me, talk to me. I won’t talk at you, I’ll talk with you. We’ll speak, we’ll listen, we’ll learn. And in the exchange, we’ll move to a calm and peaceful place that feels like a benediction.
* And for those of you who don’t know a preposition from a rutabaga, that’s a topic for another blog entry! Where are the grammar teachers at?
Cherry Muse
President
Public Conversations Project
December 10, 2009
Comments
Great post. As a colleague,
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